Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool

Access to a rooftop in this city is an amazing privilege. Luckily, P has been great about having company over! Her roof is gorgeous for sunsets and shooting the shit, giving folks the space above the bustle of the city...which can prove to be overwhelming sometimes. I came equipped with two pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, new flavors which I found terribly unsatisfying before they melted away. I kinda regret ending the night talking about the apocalypse in 2012(again) with H. I think P was scared afterwards...EMBARRRASssssING! Well, it at least helped that we got both a sunset and moonlit cityscape int he same sitting. (Ps. big-ass roaches live on rooftops, too.)

Anyway, I recently had to take some actions to protect my dear dear friend's privacy. That meant that I needed to limit access to certain areas of my life where others may take advantage. It made me think about how H has taught me a really valuable lesson when dealing with cutting folks off: there should be an explanation. When things need to stop (for whatever reason,) people should know why, or a the very least, be told that they will be cut off! Otherwise, that shit can just become a really passive aggressive exercise in cowardice. Let's see how this person responds to the current situation. You will be the first to know.

So. I like Muppets. I am pretty elated that The Wind In the Willows is on Masterpiece Theater right now. I think I like all things involving actors with latex facepieces. It's just my "thing." Therefore, it was a pleasant surprise to come home to a late night rerun of the film on PBS. It's super cute <3 (No, I haven't yet read the book.) I thought it was some weird Harry Potter thing at first.

I forgot to mention that I met K for late lunch at Shake Shack, which surprisingly had a shorter lunchtime wait! The site used to only be open 6 months out of the year; this is the first that it's been open all year round, as part of of a social experiment? So, K and I caught up in the sub, despite not having had the chance to see each other earlier in her trip. A convo that ended with me feeling good, feeling great since another Seattlite was considering moving to NYC for grad school! Yeeeee! I'm so excited I live in a place where folks visit frequently and decide to stay for a couple of years or so! While it's temporary, it's best to have had those folks here briefly, than never at all. (And yes, the Shackburger was delicious, as always. The only thing we have closest to In N Out. So, this is why I return to le Shack.)

Afterward, I headed to New School to see C at work! I was so lucky that she was patient enough to spend the next three hours of her life copying files onto DVDs and googling people we dislike! THanks, girl! i thought I was getting a stellar deal on these blank DVDs at Staples, thinking that C could use them in her film stuff. BUt I got the wrong type (even though she straight up gave me the physical DVD I should buy.) I'm stupid. I didn't know there was a difference in DVD formats. So we looked it up.

Oh, internet! How I love it so!

the way I operate.

I can't get myself to stop missing my vacation! I am seriously suffering from some wanderlust! Returning is similar to how your feet and legs and knees feel after a 2-hour session of rollerblading or ice skating, and you've just taken them off. I mean, you're functional, and you can walk around, but there's still that discomfort as you acclimate yourself to steady ground. There's that certain buzzing sensation, too... you just have to wait it out.

There are days when I am horribly unproductive. As in, sometimes, I forget to eat and sleep because I'm just in my head over-thinking my anxieties. My life becomes a queue of missed calls, unopened texts with somewhat urgent messages, and an inbox with over 10k unread messages. (I'm sorry y'all. I cannot deal!) So, I respond by hermitting and imagining myself as a self-sufficient island. (I didn't love that movie as much as others did.)

I radiate and fade away quickly. I have these manic spurts of productivity, and prolonged periods of stagnation. It's a pattern, and I talk to my girl, S, often to ensure that I don't shame myself too too much for not getting my check list done. And it's good that she's working on it, too. It's lovely and reassuring to have that kind of support. I'm pretty lucky!

But with all my downtime, at least I've caught up on my beloved j-doramas. <3 you, Satoshi! (I'm totally career stalking this man and watching his entire filmography.)



I'm such a stalker, but I guess it's his bad for being all famous and whatnot.

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Back on task:
In an attempt to get my writing in order, prepare yourself for the release of various blog draft entries I've neglected. For those interested: I'm planning to reveal some side-projects I've been working on sometime soon! <3 So, this need to tidy up is getting the best of me, hence the new template, and a beefy check list!

So, let's bring it back to the basics, y'all. Too many frills distract.

minipiphany 14

upon watching the the tracey fragments, i realized that that it's not ellen page i dislike. my issue lies more with diablo cody (aka brook busey.) i really disagree with the whole "y'all hatin' cuz y'all JEALOUS!" defense taken by the ladies at jezebel. as for cody, i think it's fantastic to step away from the essentialism surrounding women. she was a sex worker, she has tattoos. fantastic. live your life. i believe that all women should claim their identity as they see fit, but there is something very backwards and reductionist in saying that the tattoos and all the sexcapades imagined in haters minds are the only reasons why one can hate on this woman. the women on jezebel are again perpetuating a fucked up politic where cody is reduced to her stripper past, her tattoos, and hipster haircut. there is a sense of unchecked elitism in the air, as exemplified by the reaction to following clip (found on the jezebel site):

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hortense at 06:08 PM on 01/16/08
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Oh NO she did NOT pull that "I'm from the Midwest, so my story is more original than those coastal people" bullshit.

And Oprah needs new writers. Quickly.

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i agree with the sentiments above. there is some white privilege going on up in there. i dislike cody because she was pulling some wack privilege shit on oprah. i like cody because she created a story that resonated with millions of viewers. i like cody because teen pregnancy was interpreted under a fairer, more comprehensive gender lens (of course, compared to what's been mainstreamed and is already out there.) i dislike cody because she is obnoxious as an interviewee. i dislike Juno because it is reliant on a bunch of self-glorifying, masturbatory, snarky one liners (which cody said was based mostly on herself) --- as an artist the directive to unearth something larger than you is the goal. i dislike Juno and diablo cody, because i'm unsure of how this work, as something seen as revolutionary in addressing class and gender issues, how does it continue to marginalize? how is can we challenge this movie so that it is relevant to my community, those of color and beyond. i dislike cody because in the nature of Juno as a film, i am unsure where it addressed the interlocking nature of oppressions affecting women. All women.

my bottom line is this:
to promote a strange radical feminist perspective without context (do your homework on what this means, first. don't be taken just because it has the world "radical" in it) is pretty dangerous. to romanticize sex work without contextualizing it in a macro sphere is problematic, to the point where it stunts the development of a healthy gender politic. ultimately resulting in some asinine logic, ie "stop hatin' just cuz she cute and used to be a stripper, y'all!"

and to be clear, i am aware that the hating on her face is quite possible. all i am saying is: there are other reasons to dislike diablo cody.


in the picture above, she is also doing that pose-thing i hate!